sat, 14th of may, 6:30pm

typing an entry on my blog in the middle of my bus trip home. from the orientation meeting. this is how packed my days are. don't really have time to sit down at home to do anything properly. weekdays are spent working, and commuting, to and fro from mindef. after reaching home at 9, i hardly and capable of dragging myself out of the house to do anything. and i fall asleep at 11 because of sheer exhuastion and the dreaded anticipation of waking up at 5 30 the next morning. i was so glad that fri finally came. finally managed to drag myself down to town to have dinner with alvin. visited him at his workplace: the grammaphone at OUB plaza. damned, i forgot how hot the office ladies are. i lament everyday that i will never be able to work with these fine ladies ( the DXOs don't count!!)

accomplished a few things today: shifted the furniture in my room around to create a small working out place; had a pretty fruitful orientation commitee meeting; as well as bought some computing stuff for the home network that, if i don't get down to doing, no one else in the house would be bothered to tinker with. and that sux because everything is breaking down, and i'm a total klutz when it comes to this sort of thing. i guess the only plus out of today is that i'll be having dinner with gcb guys later in town. and going to chinablack later. ironically, after complaining for 8 months about the poor state of the clubs in ann arbor, i haven't visited any clubs ever since touching down. can't wait for later.

got into a pretty interesting discussion at work with another colleague. we are working on a project about human resource management. a particular topic cropped up: what is the motivation and attractiveness of engaging in a military career? current circumstances and trends will probably result in a decrease in the number of talented individuals interested in joining the military. my colleague made a comment that the only reason why people join the organization is because they are unable to get better offers and opportunities elsewhere. aside from safos and sms, which are designed to be more attractive than the other scholarshipws around on offer to the graudating 'a' level graduates, it seems, to him, that talent recruited from other avenues are, to put it crudely, 'second grade'.

how am i to refute this? as a member of this organization, i cannot deny the fact that some of my colleagues in the organization are here because they got rejected elsewhere. and that some of them are here perhaps to take advantage of the superior financial benefits of this job compared to others in the civil service. but i want to believe that there are other talented and motivated individuals out there who truly want to play an important role here, whether as a proxy to something better elsewhere, or to eventually play an influential role in policies and doctrine development in the latter stages of their military careers. i find it frustrating how people are often skeptical, even cynical at times, about the military. true, i cannot deny that this organization has its deficiencies. the fact that we are a conscript army only serves to provide avenues to air our dirty laundry to the public. more often that not, the average joe on the street has misgivings about his nsf experience, because of a under-performing superior on the job, or the inefficiencies of training and work planning. working where i am now, i am beginning to see the bigger picture. i am in an organization, that because of the size we need to maintain and the limitations posed by the small population, has to at times prefer quantity over quality. but rest assured; the organization is not 'screwed up'. i take heart at the fact that the people at the top, the policy-makers, are constantly looking forward to ways and means to improve the organization. if an organization is judged based on its management, then i can safely say that ours is an execellent one. the general negative public view of the organization is attributed to the fact they most of them are not involved in work at the higher levels, thus they are

a) unable to see the holistic perspective,
b) working with regulars stuck at the bottom of the chain due to the lack of sufficient capability.

what can be changed? the situation is bleak, but not unmanageable. the only way we can improve is to continue recruiting the top talent, while at the same time streamlining our functions and structure so that there is no need to hire for the sake of filling positions. and this can be achieved. i believe some day the image of the organization will improve. and it needs to improve, for the defence of our nation rests solely upon its capability and deterrence.