crazy

crazy is the title of the song in my previous post. and crazy is how i feel now.

the end of spring break signifies so much for me, and portends so many more events to come.

spending one week building the trail at wildcard mountain is simply one of the best decisions i've made in a long, long time. i enjoyed myself thoroughly: the company, the scenery, and the mission of our trip. I think the hard work that we put in really bonded the ten of us; i can only hope that these friendships can carry on for a really long time. the mission of the nature conservancy, which is the organization which we dug the trail for, sounds really meaningful, am i'm just glad to have done my part for their efforts in preserving the environment.

but this joy was diluted with a piece of really bad news i received on thursday night. mi dear dad has stones in his pancrea, and will be going for an operation on tues. those of you whom are close to me will know that this sounds terribly similar to what my mum went thru before. she was diagnoised with stones in her pancrea when i was in sec 1, and only during the operation did the doctors find out that its actually cancer instead.

this was what led me to take a drive today after trying to study at starbucks in the afternoon. i drove to ypsilanti, then decided to end up at gallup park. funny, after having ran in the park so many times, i've never actually drove there b4. so i did, parked at the restaurant area, in the hope of finding out whether they open on sat mornings for breakfast. but i guess its closed for winter then. anyhow, i just sat down by the rive to watch the sunset. somehow, listening to the geese flying in and out, the tear ducts broke. for the first time in a really long time, perhaps since when my mum was ill and i went to the novena church in singapore to pray for her health, i prayed. i dunno who i was praying to, just praying that someone somewhere can ascertain that my dad won't suffer from this cruel twist of fate. pls do not let cancer and financial problems ruin the life of this strong, honest, hardworking man. i've made up my mind: if he's sick, i will end my studies early to return home to support my family. i won't let him work again, not after the life he has slogged, not when he was so cruely cheated.

so after sunset in gallup park, i drove to this indoor soccer place. i joined this team of latin americans in this competitive league, and played with them for the first time today. and i ate such a huge piece of humble pie today. i was positively the lousiest player on the pitch. somehow all skill deserted me. i think along the years some of the praise got to my head, but today i really felt so, so small. time to eat the humble pie and brush up ur soccer, jiayong.

went to watch some chinese serials with lianmeng, jiaying and eunice just now. well i dun think i was really interested in the show before going, but i just craved the company i can get with these friends. home can seem so forbidding sometimes. and i'm really glad i went. spent 3 hours jus staring at the tv. took my mind off so many things then.

so here i am, back home, typing this. i hate this melodrama persona that i seem to portray with my posts, but i guess its really just how i feel about things. like i said before, only ppl who are truly concerned will read this, and i guess i dun have to hide things from ppl who are truly concerned then.

good night all. maybe tomorrow we'll all find our way home.