symbolic dream

i just woke up from an awful, awful dream.

in the dream, i was running away. for some reason that i cannot remember, i was going AWOL (absent without official leave) from the army. i remember feeling very indignant about the situation, and was running away. in a flash my awol companion (whom i cannot remember as well) and i found ourselves rushing into this HSB flat to hide from the military police. and guess what? it's the flat where my paternal grandparents and my paternal uncle's family is staying.

i've stopped visiting these people a long, long time ago. somehow, tiffs with members of the extended family became a norm for my own family of four. Ever since i was about 16, i've not kept in contact with the above-mentioned folks, as well as some members of my maternal family. All these quarrels, broken down to the last common denominator, represent feuds over money and personal vendettas. Shall not go in detail here to avoid washing dirty linen in public.

anyhow, they were shocked to see me in the least. dressed in camoflage uniform, i was dishevelled and unkempt. i remember simply asking " can we hide here for a while?" and my uncle just nodded his head. my grandmother came out immediately after, and was fuming that i actually showed up at their place, demanding refuge when i have not visited them for almost 6 years now. She simply said, " you're are not our eldest grandson anymore". I felt a little indignant, and responded with " i don't think i ever really cared about being that. I just hate that family has been broken apart because of your disrespect for my family members."

the military police coudn't have chosen a better time to arrive. i remember feeling my heart sink when i heard them come through the door. tears welled up within me, and i managed a muffled "goodbye". my uncle came forward and offered me a handshake to bid goodbye. i hugged him instead. and hugged everyone else in the room as well. somehow that made me feel a lot better. and like all the lousy compositions we used to write when we were young, this was when i woke up from my sleep half an hour ago.